To say that these past couple of years have been intense for our family would be an understatement. We've felt the impact on all sides and have spent a good portion of this year feeling like we're somewhat in recovery mode. We've stripped our schedule down to bare bones where commitment (aka, leaving our house) is concerned and we've tried to move beyond just surviving, even if our thriving is only happening within our own walls for the time. I think we're finally reaching a place where we can look back on the monumental changes and sorrows and trials and even the wonderfully happy times of the past few years and begin to see the rainbows that were there all along.
Part of our in-house thriving has involved the hosting of many friends and family in our new home. We've already put our basement guest area to good use many times over and we're so thankful for that space! Having a restful, welcoming place for guests to land and recharge is a big part of our family mission. The Lord seems to concur as he's seen fit to keep the front door in a near constant state of revolving since it was hung. :)
But for all the great times we were having with so many guests, I found myself with very little time to prepare for our upcoming school year this summer. I had been so hopeful that this year was going to be a new start for us after a few years of our school not having as much intentionality built into it as I'd like. Three years ago our family made the decision to join a local co-op. We'd never done anything like that and it changed our little school a lot. Two years ago mom died in October. Much of that school year was spent on the bare basics with the added curriculum of learning to grieve well and with hope. We finished that year with me leaving town alone more times than I've ever left my family in order to go and care for my sister after her accident. Last year we had the privilege of building our house. Again, bare bones curriculum with the added adventure of hours upon hours on a job site. On one hand, living these real-life circumstances alongside our children every day is one of the biggest reasons we've chosen this homeschooling path. On the other hand, the researcher/planner in me has a hard time remembering that these experiences are every bit as valuable as the latin program that was being neglected. I was looking forward to some focused time this summer to prepare a school year that would get us back onto the track I had been missing for those three years.
As summers like to do, time was speeding by. I had five official students to prepare for and a schedule to figure out and, quite literally, no white space on the calendar in front of me. It's not pretty, but I'll admit that I began to feel resentful. I heard myself asking God why he would call me to this big task and then not grant me the time I felt like I needed to do it well. I questioned his goodness as more and more opportunities to welcome friends poured in, which meant more time washing sheets, making beds, cleaning bathrooms, preparing menus and making Costco trips and less time in front of the computer researching grammar options. Little did I know, it would be those very chores that would put me in a place to be led to the very things my heart had been craving for our school. In my weary state I had narrowly assumed that the "right track" meant finding the best curriculum for each child and all the best literature and history selections to read aloud. God kindly showed me his goodness by leading me to so much more by giving me those necessary tasks to complete and an iPhone with earbuds to accompany me.
Everywhere I turned in my limited internet time I was being confronted with the reminder to rest; to take my weariness to the Lord instead of to bear up under it even more as I am so apt to do. What surprised me the most was that I found that trend even among my long-time favorite homeschooling bloggers and authors. I don't know if there's actually some sort of Rest Revival going on or whether it's just the theme that God opened my own eyes to, but it was everywhere and I was devouring it. From conference lectures that I could download to podcasts I could subscribe to, my gaze was being shifted from curriculum I could buy to a heart focus on the good and the beautiful feast of learning and it wasn't just limited to my children. I was being reminded that education is so much bigger than math and grammar and science. Our school year was taking on a beautiful shape and I still hadn't spent even a second researching curriculum. And those most wonderful part was that I knew it could be maintained even if this settled, recovered time doesn't last and God sees fit to shake things up again.
We're now five weeks into our school year and I'm finding myself wanting to process and remember these changes we're making. I'm hoping to break things down over this next month and record them here. Words on a page (or screen, I suppose) feel more substantial to me than the thoughts that fly around in my head and writing helps to solidify them in my mind. I've never planned so unofficially before a school year, yet I've never felt so certain that we're on a path towards a rich and beautiful education; an education that is full of real-life living. I don't want to forget the ways in which God heard my grumblings and he answered them with such goodness and compassion.
"Education is an atmosphere, a discipline and a life." ~ Charlotte Mason